Now I know to the medical profession Shonnyitus might be a familiar term but to us lay people, Shonnyitus is defined as “a fear of not being sure if one is actually from Rathnew or not”.
You see after years of living the Village life in the Merrymeetings John fell in madly in love with a forbidden fruit, his darling wife Anne from Darragh Park in Wicklow Town. Blissfully in love the couple purchased a new home on the back road that used to connect Wicklow Town to Rathnew but through years of development John found himself surrounded on all sides with new houses.
With the no mans land that used to separate the two warring factions now gone, John has found himself in a pickle. With no defined obvious boundary, his worst fears have now become a reality and John finds himself unsure if he’s even a Shonny anymore! To deflect attention from his possible residence in Wicklow Town, John now only wears clothing that’s either red and green or emblazoned with the club crest of Rathnew for fear that he might be accused of being a Wicklow Town man and the shame and ridicule that would inevitably follow from his Rathnew peers.
John as issued a plea for help and wants to meet like minded people who might also live on the back road and are unsure if they’re really a Shonny anymore because of the dreaded Shonnyitus. If you know anybody who could be in a similar pickle to John then please send them to the Railway Bridge on the lower road where John is holding his first meeting on Tuesday night to tackle the Shonnyitus issue. You can spot the symptoms of Shonnyitus as they will have this type of confused expression.