Local Man Gives Birth to Bundle of Joy After Intensive Labour
At 09:47 this morning we are pleased to report that local man Tom Kavanagh managed to push out a healthy bundle of joy! After a heavy heavy night down the Pecker, Tom’s waters broke on his walk home and he knew once the seal was broken that was it only a matter of time. Keen on having a home birth, he rushed to the bathroom but little did Tom know the hours he was about to spend with his arse contractions growing ever more painful but our brave soldier persevered until Little Baby Guinness weighing in at a whopping 6 pound 8 ounces arrived into the world this morning after hours of intensive pushing and heavy breathing and the odd scream from a proud but exhausted Tom.
Tom’s wife Anne was smiling from ear to ear when our reporter spoke with her in the Ashford home she shares with Tom.
I’d be very squeamish so I couldn’t bear to go in and witness the delivery, i just couldn’t. I could hear the screams of pain but I just couldn’t bring myself to go in, I don’t think I’d be able to look at Tom in the same way again if I had seen him in that kind of distress but I’m happy it all ended so well.
Anne was also glad to report that Father and Baby are both doing well although Tom is still quite sore as he was torn during labour and had to get a stitch or two but he should be fine and she asked that friends give him a few days to fully recover before visiting.