Lady Farts – The Silent Killer

As many a good man can testify to the mystery surrounding the female species is one that baffles us all. Trying to understand women has broken many a top scientist and the real truth remains a mystery but in this dark and murky world, one element has baffled scientists more than most, the mythical Lady Fart.

It’s existence has long been denied by the fairer sex and any mention of the subject is met viciously with absolute distain and quickly shut down. There are mentions of this phenomenon going back as far as 14 AD where Jesus suspected Mary Magdalene of letting a few whoppers and decided to help her with her bowel movements. References to support this can be found in the Bible where Luke and Mark both claim Jesus not only survived it but had a cure.

The twelve were with him, and also some women who had been cured of odorous evil spirits: Mary (called Magdalene) from whom seven demons has come out – and many others. Luke 8:2 and Mark 16:9 say Jesus cleansed her of “seven absolute demons”.

Sea farers tales from yore also claim that mermaids lured many ships to their doom. The chemical reaction of a Mermaids Lady Fart with water was claimed to be like the combined cannon fire of the Spanish Armada and equally as devastating to any galleon who had the misfortune to be lured into the trap.



Many suspected “Panty Whispers” have been heard over the years by men but none have ever been officially recorded. It is claimed by many urban legends that in the rare event that this fabled feminine faux pas occurs, any unfortunate and unsuspecting male species in the vicinity who inhale this noxious fume can be rendered helpless and it is rumoured that many unexplained deaths are due to silent but deadly Lady Farts.

Stay safe out there Gentlemen….